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Author Topic : A bit heavy but very funny ! 
Turner_110

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Views : 1918  Aug 31, 2012 9:39am

"The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington, chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of t heir beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'



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HelenDiaz

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RE: A bit heavy but very funny ! Aug 31, 2012 9:49am

My quick analysis after reading this is that instead of procrastinating and wasting valuable time evaluating "Hell" (which may or may not exist) we should instead focus our intellect and energy on the hell on earth we are all creating and live in the real world, at least, whilst we are all still here.

Just a thought





http://www.starnow.co.uk/helendiaz

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 Razoir



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RE: A bit heavy but very funny ! Aug 31, 2012 10:09am

quoting post from HelenDiaz:

My quick analysis after reading this is that instead of procrastinating and wasting valuable time evaluating "Hell" (which may or may not exist) we should instead focus our intellect and energy on the hell on earth we are all creating and live in the real world, at least, whilst we are all still here.

Just a thought





http://www.starnow.co.uk/helendiaz


QV. The Cathars, who claimed that on death everyone goes to heaven because hell is here.

Huge Hairy Jeremy

Website: www.photoartimages.org

Remember, Trolls' brains are silica based and only function properly at temperatures lower than minus 72 degrees Kevin.

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mattharper

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RE: A bit heavy but very funny ! Aug 31, 2012 1:13pm

A good post, an enlightening answer by the chap.
Good to read after a hard day at a wedding.

Friday night, where's my voddie?


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SarahJaneModel

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RE: A bit heavy but very funny ! Aug 31, 2012 1:49pm

Hilarious!!

When I sat my chemistry finals there is no way I would have
been able to come up with that answer......wish I was as clever as him



Remember that happiness is as contagious as gloom




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mattharper

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RE: A bit heavy but very funny ! Aug 31, 2012 1:55pm

quoting post from SarahJaneModel:

Hilarious!!

When I sat my chemistry finals there is no way I would have
been able to come up with that answer......wish I was as clever as him



Remember that happiness is as contagious as gloom




well, you answered that yourself, "as clever as "HIM""



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johnlp

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RE: A bit heavy but very funny ! Aug 31, 2012 5:05pm

Is there the assumption that thestudent was male? It is far more interesting to suppose they were female!

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mattharper

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RE: A bit heavy but very funny ! Aug 31, 2012 5:09pm

quoting post from johnlp:

Is there the assumption that thestudent was male? It is far more interesting to suppose they were female!

As they shagged Teresa last night, I am assuming the subject of the post was male

I know, it is unsafe to assume this, especially as every female I meet declares undying lesbianism as soon as I offer them pork




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Artwayze

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RE: A bit heavy but very funny ! Sep 9, 2012 2:29am

quoting post from HelenDiaz:

My quick analysis after reading this is that instead of procrastinating and wasting valuable time evaluating "Hell" (which may or may not exist) we should instead focus our intellect and energy on the hell on earth we are all creating and live in the real world, at least, whilst we are all still here.

Just a thought





http://www.starnow.co.uk/helendiaz


Absolutely.... 10/10[/img]

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