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Author Topic : Your thoughts please... 
 Solveman



Thread Starter / Photographer
City: Basildon
Country: United Kingdom
Member Since: Jan 27, 2012
Posts: 587
Views : 1439  Nov 23, 2013 1:24pm

Any constructive critique is welcomed

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q6photos

Photographer
City: Perth,Hamilton Hill
Country: Australia
Member Since: Sep 26, 2004
Posts: 561
RE: Your thoughts please... Nov 23, 2013 6:39pm

Play around with the photo of Airman , make him clearer.
So he really emphasises his being the focus of ladies life, the sole reason for her living.
But don't overdo it , which s why I say Play around wit him.

Nice shot and well conceived, I felt the idea , but not 100 % finished over 95% though.

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 NoNoizePhotography



Photographer
City: Croydon
Country: United Kingdom
Member Since: Aug 19, 2006
Posts: 1109
RE: Your thoughts please... Nov 23, 2013 7:15pm

quoting post from q6photos:

Play around with the photo of Airman , make him clearer.
So he really emphasises his being the focus of ladies life, the sole reason for her living.
But don't overdo it , which s why I say Play around wit him.

Nice shot and well conceived, I felt the idea , but not 100 % finished over 95% though.


what q6photos said

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JGH

Photographer
City: Stoneleigh, nr Epsom
Country: United Kingdom
Member Since: Oct 26, 2010
Posts: 77
RE: Your thoughts please... Nov 24, 2013 5:47am

I agree with the comments made by q6, but I think there is more to be done. I would crop off the bottom 20% - 25%. There are many bright areas that draw the eye away from the intended subject, so darken the light bulb, the lamp reflector, the base of the lamp, etc, etc. Also I would clone out the lamp flex.

I guess that the story here is that the model is about to write a letter to her loved one who is away fighting ? Yet the writing desk is curiously empty, and the pen is somewhat hidden. If you have the opportunity to reshoot, then how about stocking the desk with envelopes or including a bundle of letters from her absent airman, and making the pen and writing pad a little more evident ?

It is a great idea, though. The viewpoint gives a sense of intimacy, and
the angle of light on the model and her clothing, coupled with the dark background, adds to the atmosphere.

Hope that helps.

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MattMiller

Photographer
City: Southend on Sea
Country: United Kingdom
Member Since: Sep 18, 2004
Posts: 5747
RE: Your thoughts please... Nov 24, 2013 11:42am

Cracking narrative, it doesn't really need critique, it just needs to be read.



http://www.mattlawrencemiller.co.uk

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 Solveman



Thread Starter / Photographer
City: Basildon
Country: United Kingdom
Member Since: Jan 27, 2012
Posts: 587
RE: Your thoughts please... Nov 24, 2013 1:17pm

Thanks for the critique, Guys. I appreciate all input. Even after 25+ years I am still learning. I am really getting into the idea of composing and telling a story rather than just snapping shots of beautiful ladies. Nothing wrong with taking pics of beautiful ladies, of course, but so many people are doing it. How many different ways can you snap a nude in a studio? It's nice to be different

Unfortunately, I can't reshoot as I have sold the bureau... I wanted to keep it but she who must be obeyed had other ideas

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 Solveman



Thread Starter / Photographer
City: Basildon
Country: United Kingdom
Member Since: Jan 27, 2012
Posts: 587
RE: Your thoughts please... Nov 24, 2013 1:36pm

Another from the series

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